Whether your parting is planned or unforeseen, if your attitude is positive and loving; spending time away from your partner can give your relationship a boost.
However close they may seem, relationships are rarely as evenly balanced as they may appear to outsiders. Frequently, one person takes the role of decision maker while the other usually complies. Similarly, one partner is sometimes more openly affectionate than the other. These patterns can become ingrained and, indeed, could be said to make for an easy and predictable passage through life. Spending time away from each other can, however, allow you to take a more detached view of your role and dynamic within your relationship.
Time for some soul-searchingTake this opportunity to ask yourself some searching questions. Do I allow my partner to make all the decisions because I want to avoid responsibility? Do I regularly show my partner enough appreciation and affection? Do I tend to compete with my partner rather than supporting them? The answers to these and many more questions can supply valuable insights and clues to solving problems before they can take hold. This kind of self-analysis would happen in an ideal world but reasons for spending time away are sometimes less than positive.
Negative reasons for absenceWhen your relationship is already in trouble you may, perhaps unconsciously, view spending time away as a means of punishing your partner. You may be so caught up in anger and self-pity that you cannot objectively analyse your reasons for forcing an absence on them. Equally destructive is using a break from your partner to escape from facing up to problems in your relationship. Giving yourself time to think about your prospects with your partner is important but, having done so, it is deeply unfair to leave your partner guessing about your future together.
Be honest with yourselfSpending time away from your partner can provide an opportunity to learn about yourself and your role in your relationship, but take care that your motives are loving and honest. Even when the outcome is painful, it should be ultimately constructive.
