As you meet someone and attempt to make a connection, there are typically five non-verbal stages that happen. This is not culture dependant. It appears that it is simply just human nature as the same five stages exist around the world.
1) Getting AttentionIn order to start a relationship, you have to first get that person’s attention. There are many non-verbal clues that you can put out to tell the world you are looking for a relationship. Your mannerisms, the way you dress, the way you make eye contact can all give others hints about whether or not you are available and interested. If you want attention you have to be a little flirtatous to let people know you are open to meeting new people.
2) Reading Body LanguageThe next step is to start looking for signs that others around you are also looking and are interested. Pay attention to others body language. When you find someone who you are interested in, see if you can see signs that they may also be looking. If you can catch their eye and establish eye contact, this is a great non-verbal sign that this person might be interested. Basically, now that you are flirting, see who flirts back.
3) Verbal CommunicationAfter you have both shown some non-verbal interest, the next step is to start up a conversation. Non-verbal communication is still extremely important in this stage. Be sure to continue the non-verbal communication that got you to this point. Just saying “hello” is an important step here. It initially isn’t so much what you say but how you say it. Body language and tone of voice are key. As you continue to talk, you will notice body language either continue to be open and flirtatous, or they might close off and change it to something less positive. Either way, you can read their body language to gauge how things are going.
4) Physical ContactThis usually starts out with something very casual. It may even seem like the touch was accidental (although it probably isn’t). The response to that touch is what is really important. If the person has decided they are not interested, their non-verbal communication will tell you this. You will get a clear sign that they are not interested in continuing. On the other hand, if it goes well, the touch will be accepted and natural and most likely lead to more touching.
5) IntimacyUp to this point, the stages have been largely flirtatous. The last one is taking it to that next level. In this stage, the non-verbal clues are just as important as in the other stages. This is the stage where you start to hold hands, kiss, and cuddle. The touching gets a lot more affectionate. At this stage, still be very aware of any non-verbal hints that are given. The non-verbal clues are always important. People’s body language will be very clear when they are ready to enter this stage. Their voice and tone will change as well. If you are paying attention, you will know when your partner is ready for this stage.
All over the world, every day, people are going through these five stages. Trust your instincts and learn how to read the non-verbal signs in each of these five stages. Remember the non-verbal can say even more than the verbal in many situations
