All of us have our own dirty laundry that we try shoving under the carpet, each time we move on from a relationship and go out with someone new.
But should you let your new mate know about your past escapades?
Should you tell or keep it a secret?
Learn from my experience and use it in your own relationship because quite frankly, making a wrong move can do more bad than good in love.
To tell or not to tell
The strangest things in life can happen at the most perfect of times.
Have you ever experienced something like that?
Like one of those times when everything’s so perfect, and you just run your mouth and decide to talk about a few stupid things.
And in an instant, things just go from perfect to bad, and bad to terrible.
If you’re wondering what I’m talking about, I’m talking about confessions, especially about old lovers, to a new lover.
I’ve heard people say that confessions about a former love is the last thing you should tell your lover, and no confessor would ever come out clean, but I guess I was just really, really stupid.
Or maybe I overdid myself.
Quite frankly, I don’t know where I went wrong, but I did. So let me tell you about the mistakes mortals like me make in love, and about how we lose our minds at times. Maybe then, you wouldn’t be as stupid as I was.
Living in a happy world with my lover
Megan and I have been in love for almost eight years to this day. We aren’t married. We’re happy to be in love and decided to get married when the time was right, and the weather, better.
Megan is a wonderful girl, and I’m happiest when I’m around her. She is perfect – beautiful, intelligent, and very funny.
She’s always loved me a lot, and we’re really happy to be with each other. We started going out when she just got out of high school, and I had just joined college. When I first saw Megan, I was smitten immediately. Even before I knew it, I was truly in love.
A few months of courting, and she too fell in love with me. It was her first time being in love. And I… had been in love, a few times, and in physical relationships, a few more times.
Of course, she didn’t know that. Now what was the whole point of talking about it with her anyways? It was my past, and they’re called former flames for a reason, right? Yeah, I had made my little mind up never ever to talk about it with her at any point of time. These secrets were supposed to be so secretive that I had made up my mind to take them to my grave.
As the relationship grew closer, we fell more in love with each passing day. And I can’t remember too well, but I’m guessing a year into our relationship, she first asked me the question I wished she’d never ask me.
“How many times have you gone out or made out with someone before me?”
Answering the wrong question
Now I knew where this was coming from. She wanted to hear it from the horse’s mouth, and I’m quite sure that thought had crossed her mind a few times in that first year.
I just looked at her and said, “Well, sweetheart, you’re the first person I’ve been in love with!” and kissed her. We both started laughing and the next thing, I got a lucky phone call, and thank goodness, the conversation was forgotten. But I knew that very moment that she knew she wasn’t my first. Damn, why couldn’t I be more convincing! Maybe it was because I wasn’t ready for that question, or perhaps, I was hoping she’d never ask.
But it was quite obvious she’d want to know. It was her first real relationship, I knew that for sure. She had spoken about it quite a few times, talking about how life changes once you’re in love. I just kept quiet at all those moments, and held my breath, waiting for an excuse to change the topic before she stabbed the question about exes at me.
She had always known that she wasn’t the first person I had been with. Now, she tells me it’s a lady’s instinct.
The question popped up every now and then, and one day, after a good couple of hours in bed, while she was lying in my arms, I asked her if she wanted to know about my past relationships. She jumped up immediately and shouted, “Yes!” Now, I know a few of the seasoned pros may think I did something wrong, but I really did want to tell her.
I never did intend to give her all the details, so I just spoke about my flings and my most recent relationship before her, and about how long it lasted, and why we broke up. She took it really well, and she was quite happy to hear everything I told her. Apparently, it took a huge load off her chest.
The calm before the storm
Megan was fine for a couple of months, and again, the conversations started drifting towards my exes. It never did scare me away, or make me feel uncomfortable. We did have a great relationship, and we used to have fun talking about just about anything, and that included exes and crushes. She wanted to talk about my most recent ex with whom I went out for a little over a year, and she particularly wanted to know about me and her and the together times.
I always used to shrug it off, but my ex kept cropping up. Soon, Megan started wheedling out information about my rendezvous and escapades, and I used to tell her the basic necessities that she should know. Things like why we broke up, where we kissed first, how that girl and her personality was, do I miss her, and the biggest question, “Which base have I been to, with her?”
I answered all her questions keeping her concerns in mind. Do I think of her or miss her? Of course not, she’s history. Why did we break up? It was mutual, things just didn’t work out. How is she as a person? Quite nice, but she just can’t be compared to you, Megan! Muah!
Source: Lovepanky
